The Gizmo Herald
The Gizmo Herald in Midgaard sells the newspaper, updated as
circumstances dictate. If you don't want to spend the 50 coins,
however, you can join the online revolution and grab it for free
here. It's updated a bit less though.
The Midgaard Herald
*****New Development in Meat Production*****
by Dionysus
Moran Lightfoot, Master Tracker of the Zhalur guild of Nomads,
announced today that he had discovered some strange new properties
in some of his cuts of meat.
"T'were strange, I tell ye," He confided in this reporter, "I been
cutting corpses for near on two hundred years now, and t'aint never
got no steak like this before. I was like a killing machine, never
even met n'ay Paladin that could deal out the blows as hard as I.
Mind ye, the sanctuary didn't hurt none neither."
That was all the Midgaard Herald was able to learn about this new
development, as at this point Moran began degenerating into random
shouts of "Nomads r00l!" and "(*&#$$ thieves ain't the best tanks no
more, is they? Suckas!"
*****Mayor decries new Festival exhibit*****
by Conundrum
Mayor Thaddeus Bittering, in a brief but venomous public tirade,
cautioned the upstanding citizens of Midgaard away from a new
exhibit at the Festival of Antiquity: The Festival, once a
destination for wholesome family enjoyment, has replaced its
world-famous living chess board with a similar area full of playing
cards. This is clearly a move that panders to gamblers, drifters and
other men of immoderate tendencies." Bittering proceeded into a
short rant on the values of civilized persons, the dignity of the
sport of chess, and his upcoming re-election. By this time, most of
his audience had quietly spirited off toward the West Gate.
*****Herbalists, Psychonauts debate virtues of new plant*****
by Conundrum
The recent discovery of a new species of plant by the Herbalist
Society of the Ivory Tower has generated some controversy among
academics, with regards to the plant's value as a medicinal or other
tool. Chief Herbalist Oxley Cheever broadly dismissed the plant's
utility: "What our guild has discovered is a new species of
tree-clinging moss, which when dried, prepared and consumed, tends
to induce vomiting, bleeding from the orifices, severe dementia and
powerful delusions. It should be noted that this substance is highly
toxic and has no proven medicinal qualities. Our qualified opinion
is to call for its strict regulation."
Riley Shulgin, veteran member of the Transplanar Psychonautic
Collective, offered a different take: "This is a curiously intense
substance whose value to the collective consciousness has not been
fully explored or understood. Members of our group have reported
several meta-level liminal experiences under its influence. We
believe this moss may be a gift from the star-children, providing us
a portal to the transplanar otherworld. Suffice it to say that
travellers should approach this experience with caution. Several
seasoned psychonauts have ventured there and never returned."
Shulgin then excused himself for an appointment with "Xzth, the
cannibal monkey spirit." This moss is rumored to be found in the far
west, near Cei'Arda.
*****Citizenship Awards are BACK!*****
by Ska
Please read the nomination board for more details.
Ska.
*****Guild compete in effort to retain membership*****
by Conundrum
Having fallen behind other guilds in developing skills and spells
for their most experienced members, three of Midgaard's most fabled
professional associations have recently unveiled new teachings to
their members. The mage's guild, in a move to break the potion
racket run by Midgaard's shopkeepers, have developed a technique to
"brew" their own quaffs. Not to be slighted, the master thieves have
added a skill called "hamstring" to their repertoire, which allows
students to cripple fleeing opponents before they escape the room.
The anti-paladin's guild, concerned with its flagging ranks, has
added not one but two new features. The guild now teaches assassins
to "envenom" their weapons, and has added literature to its
libraries detailing preparations for a malediction called "plague."
These skills are all reserved for high-level players only.
*****Paladins declassify new technique*****
by Conundrum
After months of rumor-trading about new jousting techniques being
developed within the paladin's guild, a spokesperson from the
association stepped forward today to announce the unveiling of the
guild's newest skill. Guild representatives assured reporters at a
morning press briefing that this new technique, called charge, has
been worth the wait. They also took pains to dispute rumors that the
skill was withheld from members to "build suspense" or "toy with you
sniveling mortals." Who would make such an absurd suggestion? Enjoy.
*****Wilderness society designates park in Haon Dor*****
by Conundrum
Midgaard's Wilderness appreciation society, a group devoted to the
admiration, observance and sometimes exploitation of wild animals,
has annexed a section of the Haon Dor wilderness to create a safari
park for intermediate adventurers. The society describes the park as
a "sanctuary, where light-footed explorers may venture to witness
these creatures in all of their God given beauty. And then, perhaps,
slaughter them ruthlessly and spit their heads on pikes." The
skittish animals of the safari have been known to react to the
presence of high-level players, and the society encourages all
visitors to heed the rules of the park, posted at its entrance.