The Gizmo Herald

The Gizmo Herald in Midgaard sells the newspaper, updated as circumstances dictate. If you don't want to spend the 50 coins, however, you can join the online revolution and grab it for free here. It's updated a bit less though.

The Midgaard Herald

*****New Development in Meat Production*****
by Dionysus

Moran Lightfoot, Master Tracker of the Zhalur guild of Nomads, announced today that he had discovered some strange new properties in some of his cuts of meat.

"T'were strange, I tell ye," He confided in this reporter, "I been cutting corpses for near on two hundred years now, and t'aint never got no steak like this before. I was like a killing machine, never even met n'ay Paladin that could deal out the blows as hard as I. Mind ye, the sanctuary didn't hurt none neither."

That was all the Midgaard Herald was able to learn about this new development, as at this point Moran began degenerating into random shouts of "Nomads r00l!" and "(*&#$$ thieves ain't the best tanks no more, is they? Suckas!"

*****Mayor decries new Festival exhibit*****
by Conundrum

Mayor Thaddeus Bittering, in a brief but venomous public tirade, cautioned the upstanding citizens of Midgaard away from a new exhibit at the Festival of Antiquity: The Festival, once a destination for wholesome family enjoyment, has replaced its world-famous living chess board with a similar area full of playing cards. This is clearly a move that panders to gamblers, drifters and other men of immoderate tendencies." Bittering proceeded into a short rant on the values of civilized persons, the dignity of the sport of chess, and his upcoming re-election. By this time, most of his audience had quietly spirited off toward the West Gate.
*****Herbalists, Psychonauts debate virtues of new plant*****
by Conundrum

The recent discovery of a new species of plant by the Herbalist Society of the Ivory Tower has generated some controversy among academics, with regards to the plant's value as a medicinal or other tool. Chief Herbalist Oxley Cheever broadly dismissed the plant's utility: "What our guild has discovered is a new species of tree-clinging moss, which when dried, prepared and consumed, tends to induce vomiting, bleeding from the orifices, severe dementia and powerful delusions. It should be noted that this substance is highly toxic and has no proven medicinal qualities. Our qualified opinion is to call for its strict regulation."

Riley Shulgin, veteran member of the Transplanar Psychonautic Collective, offered a different take: "This is a curiously intense substance whose value to the collective consciousness has not been fully explored or understood. Members of our group have reported several meta-level liminal experiences under its influence. We believe this moss may be a gift from the star-children, providing us a portal to the transplanar otherworld. Suffice it to say that travellers should approach this experience with caution. Several seasoned psychonauts have ventured there and never returned." Shulgin then excused himself for an appointment with "Xzth, the cannibal monkey spirit." This moss is rumored to be found in the far west, near Cei'Arda.
*****Citizenship Awards are BACK!*****
by Ska

Please read the nomination board for more details.
*****Guild compete in effort to retain membership*****
by Conundrum

Having fallen behind other guilds in developing skills and spells for their most experienced members, three of Midgaard's most fabled professional associations have recently unveiled new teachings to their members. The mage's guild, in a move to break the potion racket run by Midgaard's shopkeepers, have developed a technique to "brew" their own quaffs. Not to be slighted, the master thieves have added a skill called "hamstring" to their repertoire, which allows students to cripple fleeing opponents before they escape the room. The anti-paladin's guild, concerned with its flagging ranks, has added not one but two new features. The guild now teaches assassins to "envenom" their weapons, and has added literature to its libraries detailing preparations for a malediction called "plague." These skills are all reserved for high-level players only.
*****Paladins declassify new technique*****
by Conundrum

After months of rumor-trading about new jousting techniques being developed within the paladin's guild, a spokesperson from the association stepped forward today to announce the unveiling of the guild's newest skill. Guild representatives assured reporters at a morning press briefing that this new technique, called charge, has been worth the wait. They also took pains to dispute rumors that the skill was withheld from members to "build suspense" or "toy with you sniveling mortals." Who would make such an absurd suggestion? Enjoy.
*****Wilderness society designates park in Haon Dor*****
by Conundrum

Midgaard's Wilderness appreciation society, a group devoted to the admiration, observance and sometimes exploitation of wild animals, has annexed a section of the Haon Dor wilderness to create a safari park for intermediate adventurers. The society describes the park as a "sanctuary, where light-footed explorers may venture to witness these creatures in all of their God given beauty. And then, perhaps, slaughter them ruthlessly and spit their heads on pikes." The skittish animals of the safari have been known to react to the presence of high-level players, and the society encourages all visitors to heed the rules of the park, posted at its entrance.